Holiday Fatigue: Why You’re So Tired And What Your Nervous System Is Trying to Tell You

A gentle, holistic guide to navigating December without losing yourself.

This blog post mirrors my podcast on The Integrative Therapist

The holidays carry a strange duality. They’re marketed as joyful, warm, sparkling, connected, a season of celebration and togetherness.

But for many people, December feels like something entirely different:

• A season of overstimulation.

• A season of emotional labour.

• A season of “just get through it.”

A season where your nervous system feels like it’s held together with a peppermint stick and a prayer.

If this resonates, you’re not alone… and you’re not “failing” at the holidays.

What you’re experiencing has a name: holiday fatigue, and it’s rooted in physiology, not personal inadequacy.

Let’s take a gentle walk through what’s happening inside your system, and what you can do to feel more grounded, present, and supported this season.

Why the Holidays Feel So Heavy (Even When They’re Supposed to Be Joyful)

Here’s something few people talk about:

December asks more of your nervous system than almost any other time of year.

More noise.

More plans.

More expectations.

More sensory input.

More emotional load.

More responsibility.

Your body isn’t breaking down, it’s trying to keep up.

This buildup is called allostatic load, the wear and tear that accumulates when life demands more energy than you’ve been able to restore. Over time, your system shifts from: “I’ve got this” → to → Holy Smoke Signal...“I’m barely surviving this.”

This is why you may notice:

• faster irritation or tears

• trouble concentrating

• guilt-driven yeses

• a shrinking social battery

• emotional numbness

• increased people-pleasing or conflict avoidance

• exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix

These aren’t character flaws. These are signals, your body’s way of whispering: “I’m carrying too much.”

Fatigue Is Not Failure... It’s Information

One of the most transformative truths we talk about in therapy is this:

Fatigue is your body telling the truth before your mind is ready to hear it.

You’ve been conditioned to push.

To be resilient.

To show up no matter what.

To perform strength long after your energy is gone.

But your body doesn’t negotiate.

It simply tells the truth.

A tightened jaw.

A heavy chest.

A sinking stomach.

A sudden shutdown after trying to push through.

These sensations are communication, not inconvenience.

Fatigue isn’t a flaw in your character.

It’s your nervous system asking for softer edges… not stronger performance.

The Stress Cycle: Why You Never Feel “Caught Up”

Here’s a concept most of us were never taught:

Stress doesn’t leave your body just because the moment is over.

It leaves when your nervous system knows the moment is over.

During December, one stressor blends into the next without space to reset.

Your system never gets the message that it can stand down.

So instead of closing the stress cycle, your body keeps accumulating unfinished loops, like tabs left open on your laptop until it overheats.

To complete these loops, your body needs 3 forms of restoration:

Physical Release

Stress enters through the body so it makes senes that it has to leave through the body.

Try:

• shaking out your hands

• rolling your shoulders up and back a few time

• stretching your spine, extending your arms up to the sky

• dancing to one song, moving and grooving all that tension away

• go outside and talk a brisk walk, even just for a few minutes

Movement signals: “The moment has passed. You’re safe again.”

Social Safety (Co-Regulation)

Nervous systems regulate in the presence of safe people or even safe memories.

Try:

• a warm text exchange with someone who gets you

• letting a pet lean on you

• listening to a calming voice (ah um you can click the link above to connect to my podcast)

• recalling a moment you felt deeply supported by someone

Connection brings your system back into “I belong here” instead of “I’m bracing for impact.”

Sensory Soothing

Your senses are the dashboard of your nervous system they tell the truth immediately.

Try:

• dimmer lighting

• gentle soothing scents

• warm textures

• soft music

• a weighted blanket or cozy sweater

Calming the senses signals safety faster than words ever could.

Boundaries: The Unsung Heroes of Holiday Peace

So many people carry guilt around setting boundaries during the holidays.

But boundaries are not ultimatums. They’re not punishments.

And they’re certainly not evidence that you’re “too sensitive” or “not festive enough.”

Boundaries are simply capacity, spoken out loud.

A boundary might sound like:

• “I can only stay for about an hour.”

• “I’m not at full energy today, so I’ll keep things low-key.”

• “I need some downtime before we reconnect.”

• “Could we turn the music down a bit so I can hear our conversation?”

These aren’t rejections, they are permissions.

They allow you to stay connected without abandoning yourself.

Your presence becomes deeper, more honest, more sustainable.

Six Signs Your Body Is Entering Holiday Survival Mode

If you’re noticing any of these, your system is asking for softness, not strength:

1. quicker tears or irritation

2. saying yes, then instantly regretting it

3. waking tired even after a full night

4. overfunctioning, caretaking, or “hosting mode”

5. avoidance or numbing

6. emotional flatness

   
   

These aren’t personal failures; they’re physiological flares.

Your body is whispering, “I need rest, not more responsibility.”

A Gentle Plan to Support Yourself This Week

You don’t need a full lifestyle overhaul.

Your nervous system responds best to small, repeatable acts of care.

Before a gathering:

• one grounding breath

• a small nourishing snack

• decide how long you want to stay

During:

• step outside for 60 seconds

• have a “regulating object” (warm drink, soft scarf)

• one meaningful conversation instead of ten small-talk cycles

After:

• sit in stillness for one minute before doing anything

• warm shower or tea

• legs up the wall for two songs

Tiny practices. Big regulation.

A Closing Truth

If you’ve been stretched thin…

If your emotions are closer to the surface…

If you’re tired in a way you can’t quite explain…

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are a human being moving through an overstimulating season with a nervous system that was built for connection, safety, and slowness.

You don’t have to match the pace of the world to belong to it.

Presence over performance.

Capacity over expectations.

Self-connection over perfection.

Be gentle with yourself this season.

Your body has been asking for that gentleness for a long time.